Everybody Talks
by mindgames0145
Summary: Mako reflects over where he is and where he wishes he could be, and attempts to take action, while reflecting how words have meant everything. Loosely based on Everybody Talks by Neon Trees. Makorra/Mako Angst/slight Borra. **warning, horribly written**


I am the responsible one, and it has never phased me, until now.

That's all that people see me as, the one who does everything right, who provides, who comes to the rescue. But right now I'm the one who needs rescuing, because I'm so in over my head.

Yes Asami had me smitten; she literally knocked me off my feet, and from that moment, the world knew nothing else. Word spread so fast, that even if it wasn't what I wanted, after that first date with her, I was caught. Everyone knew what happened. And I had to follow through, because I was the responsible one. But then that meant I had to go to that stupid party and see _her_, after all the party was _for her_. And then it really was too late.

_She_ knew. Word had spread to _her._ The one I really wanted, no matter how much she annoyed me, no matter how crazy she drove me. I loved her. I _loved_ her.

And it was too late. I was with Asami. I was with Asami. I was trusted by her father, I was expected to act a certain way, and Asami liked me. And I liked her. I just wasn't drawn to her. I wasn't addicted to her, as I was to Korra, and how I wished and really knew Korra was to me, she even confirmed it herself.

And I denied her.

And then I heard the whispers, no matter how hard I tried to tune them out. "_She's out with Bolin." _As soon as I heard that bit of chit chat, it kept replaying in my head; I kept hearing it wherever I was, even if a dropped pin could be heard in the silence of whatever space I was in. It plagued me, got in the way of whatever I was doing, it was meddling.

Even when I was with Asami.

And all the talking, whether real or in my head, drove me to the gazebo, and to her. I knew I'd lied, saying that I was worried about Bolin; I was more worried that I had been used, that she pretended to like me to get him. But then she kissed me. And I kissed her back.

Seeing Bolin after, make the kiss on my lips, that had been pleasurable, blister and burn. And that was that.

Now I don't know what to do. My world is gone, and I just don't know what to say. I can't rely on the words of others; I'm just lucky I know neither Bolin nor Korra would tell Asami. So I have some time.

But all these words, all these stories are going to make my world collapse, because everybody talks.

And then I thought she started making up more, like about Mr. Sato. And I threatened her, with a falsity that I knew I could never live up to; I could never stop being friends with her. But she was right, so I wouldn't have to worry about losing her as a friend. Though, that night, I most definitely lost any potential I ever had with her for anything more; she told me to be with Asami, she told me that Asami needed me and to go to her.

No matter what though, I will always ache for Korra, even though to be responsible, I could never act upon it, and I am the responsible one.

I just wish… I wish the world could go silent: no more troubles, no more gossip, no more chit chat. I wish… that I didn't have to be responsible… that I didn't have to watch my back for words that could hurt not only me, but Bolin, Asami, Korra. I wish that I could feel her warmth again. Her lips surprisingly steady against mine, our bodies close; I wish I could feel that electricity. But I'm afraid it might no longer be there. However, now that we live under the same roof, it'd be easy to find out.

I'm itching to get out of my new bed on the island, where I've been all this time, and take those 23 steps to her room, quietly of course. But the whole world is asleep, not to mention with Bolin across the room from me and Asami's room between ours and Korra's I'm not sure I'd be able to make it without feeling them hear me, or watch me, or feel my presence where it should not be at this hour.

So I'll stay here and try to sleep, try to remain responsible, though it gets harder with each passing moment, with the urge to take the risk burning inside of me. I roll over to try to smother the embers, and my eyes fall upon Bolin's bed, where he should be, but isn't, and I shoot up in my own cot. _No._

I get up as quickly as I can, attempting to remain as quiet as possible as well but that is no longer my main priority. I rush out our door and practically run those 23 steps to Korra's closed door. But before I take that last step, I hear her laugh definable yet muffled by the walls. I lean against her wall and let my ear rest against it, straining to hear as much as I can, but only making out laughs, _plural_. One is hers, and the other is Bolin's distinguished chortle. I slump to the floor.

I know that I should move, but I can't muster the strength to do so. She's in there talking, laughing with Bolin, and I'm outside the door moping, playing with fire while trying to smother the hurt inside me. _I have a girlfriend._ I try to assure myself, try to calm myself. _I have a wonderful girlfriend who loves me and whom I'm very fond of. _But this isn't working.

I find myself instead rationalizing. _Bolin always makes her laugh and normally laughs along himself. He probably just stopped by to talk to her about something, something they couldn't talk about with others around._ I felt my heart flutter; _maybe they're talking about me. Maybe she wanted to talk to him about her feelings for me, seek advice. _I know that this flutter will cause me pain but I hold onto it. _After all, he knows me the best, and so she would want to talk to him. After all, everybody talks. _


End file.
